FRIENDSHIPS CH 9: The One Who Serves

This one’s for the servant-hearted leader in you. 💥

In this episode, Esme dives into Chapter 9 of her book Friendships and focuses on one of the most powerful (yet misunderstood) qualities of growth and Christlikeness: serving others.

Whether leading a team, raising a family, or simply trying to live with intention—you can't miss this episode!

What you'll learn:

• The powerful truth from Hebrews 6:10 that changed how I view serving
• The mindset shift between serving from love vs. obligation
• A raw story about a time I served resentfully—and what it revealed about my heart
• The surprising way my friend showed up when I needed her most

Plus, hear what I learned at the International Maxwell Conference (spoiler: it involves Avengers-level women and major perspective shifts!).

This episode is real, vulnerable, and packed with encouragement for anyone who wants to become a person others can count on. Because the people we surround ourselves with? They shape who we become.

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Transcript

Friendships Ch 9: The One Who Serves

Well, hello my friends! I am so excited you are hanging out with me today! I know you don’t want me to say this, but you guys, its April!  For real mind as well be Christmas already. 

I have been go-go-go the last 3 weeks, and I’ve had very little sleep, but it has also been super rewarding and just overall amazing!

Let me share that, professionally speaking, things have been going very well. I launched my leadership coaching business, and I am not a small business owner. That is a dream come true for me and I truly believe that I am meant to do this. This is how I will be able to bring value and serve other my fellow professional who may be a little stuck. I specialized in leadership development, effective communication, and team dynamics. 

So, if your team is struggling to get along and get things done on time, or if you find that you say things multiple times and your team doesn’t do you have asked, or maybe your team members don’t quite know what their responsible for, I am here for you! 

You can tell your manager you know someone who can help or you can reach out to me by going to my website www.esmegraff.com

I am super excited to start this journey and see who God leads me to! 

I spent 4 days in Orlando attending the International Maxwell Conference, which was amazing. I met some incredible women and the one thing that captivated my attention most was the lesson from John Maxwell on Day to Grow about the people we attract. 

As I reflected on that, I began to look closely at the people I connected with over the past three days and realized that these women are like the Avengers. They are professionally successful, they are kind, funny, smart, and it was like we were immediately part of a team. I had never really experienced that! It was awesome

They didn’t see my dreams or the fact that I just launched a coaching business as crazy. In fact, they offered words of wisdom and shared their dreams and projects with me. You know what? I thought their projects were amazing ideas- ideas that I would, without doubt, support!

Anyway, I share that because this is how we serve each other. See, we have been fed this lie that we have to compete with each other, that I have to be the only one doing something, and that no one else can be in the same space doing the same thing… and that is sad because it is such a lie. You and I can do the same thing, and the people we serve will get something different because you are you and I am me. 

Now that we are talking about serving people, chapter nine of Friendship is all about how we can serve others.  And just so you know there is a Bible verse I love because it says: God remembers the love we demonstrate as we serve His loved ones for the glory of His name. I just love that verse - and that is Hebrews 6:10 TPT 

So, If it matters to God, it must be important! 

Serving others does not diminish our worth or imply that we are unworthy.  There are two ways we can serve people. 

We can serve others out of love or out of obligation. The former is fun and brings joy, the latter, not so much. 

In the book, I share a story I am not proud of because I acted out of pure obligation. I had a problem helping someone who, to me, seemed perfectly able to do the job themselves. I wondered why I was helping, and as a single mom who gave up five hours of my day away from my kids, that was hard. I felt like I could have used that time to be with my children instead. 

I had a heart problem that day because the truth is that I have gladly done things for my friends that they could have done themselves. So, why, then, didn’t I feel the same way? Well, because they are my friends and I love them. 

In the same way, I have cooked a meal here and there for a friend who can cook, I have moved a plant from a pot the ground for a friend, that was something she could have done. There is the double standard my heart had. I can serve some people but not all people. 

Serving others comes from a source of love – and the source of love is God Himself. Lucky for me, I have friends who excel at serving all people, and I get to learn from them. 

It is true, we become our friends. we are very much influenced by the people we spend time with.

Can I encourage you today to find a friend who loves serving others so you can become more like them?

I have a friend who loves serving others and I want to be more like her. And what is even better is that her husband is just like her. So, that helps me view life through a different lens.

Shortly after I got divorced, I got really sick:  a bad cold turned into bronchitis and there was one day, I felt like I was going to die… I had gone to urgent care and came home with some meds I decided to take a quick nap but fell asleep longer than I had planned – I woke up feeling even worse, I had a fever 103.1 and just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, my eight year old walks into the room and asked: what is for dinner?  

I surely thought God had forgotten about me in that moment. I remember texted my friend to tell her how much I hated life in that moment and probably within 30 mins she was at my house with a warm meal for me and kids. 

Now, that is how we should serve each other, out of love, without being asked. Im so lucky to have this friend in my life.  

Chapter nine is one of my favorite chapters; I talked about Jonathan’s armor bearer, and Tabitha. 

Read pages from my Book Friendships: God Wants You (p. 182-184)

I had a great time hanging out with you today!  As usual, here is my disclaimer: Everything I share in this podcast comes from my personal experience. I can only hope is that my stories inspire and encourage you. I cannot give you professional advice, and I cannot say that if you do what I do you will have the same results. But if you need help, I highly recommend you find a professional who can provide the support you need.

If this podcast inspires you in any way, give it a like, follow, and leave a review to make it easier for others to find it. You can also use the QA section on Spotify to let me know what you think of this episode. 

I would love to connect with you – you can reach out on social media, wherever you listen to podcasts or visit my website at www.esmegraff.com 

Have an amazing week! Go into the world as an influential person who serves others and lives a life with purpose. 

I’ll see you here next week Later