The History We Leave Behind

What kind of history are you leaving behind? This week on The Esme Graff Podcast, I'm diving into the power of our personal history—not just the stories we tell but the impact we have on the people around us.

I share a personal story of a life-changing moment, the kindness of a nurse, and the biblical example of Tabitha—a woman whose legacy of love and service left an unforgettable mark on her community.

In my book Friendships, I explore how the way we serve others—whether through small acts of kindness or deep, sacrificial love—shapes the legacy we leave behind. Tabitha’s story in Acts Chapter 9 reminds us that our impact isn’t measured by status or success but by the lives we touch.

In this episode, we’ll explore:
How small actions shape lasting legacies
The importance of making people feel seen and valued
How past hurts don’t have to define future relationships

So, how will you be remembered? You were created for a purpose, and if you live it out, you will leave a memorable history behind.

🎧 Tune in now and be inspired to live your life with intentionality!

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Transcript

Welcome friends! I’m super excited you’re hanging out with me today! I appreciate you spending your valuable time listening to this podcast. 

Join me every week as I share wisdom from scripture, practical ways to grow personally and professionally, and, of course, always with a little bit of humor from the lessons I’ve learned from my mistakes. 

My goal is to bring you insightful information to spark inspiration and encourage you to live out your purpose. You have one life—go live it differently. 

Welcome to the pod, friends! it is good to be back for another episode—this month I have taken the time to really look to be intentional about talking to people about their history. What is the reason they do what they do or the reason they feel the way they feel. 

 See someone’s history is so much more than their story. Your history involves, people before you, places you may not even remember and people who were there for a long time or just a few hours.

 Throughout the year, I'll be asking the question: Can you tell me about your history? 

So, I’m talking about one of my favorite subjects: history. What do you love about history?  

Do you know what I love about history? What I love about history is the little person behind the big story. I love that we all have the chance to be the little person behind the big story and make history in our own way with the people we interact with. 

 And you may be asking right now Esme, how am I making history? Well, I think you can make history the way you treat people. The way to speak to someone. The things you do. All those things are ways you leave your mark in the world. 

And if you still don't believe that you’re making history in someone’s life, let me ask you this: is there someone you can remember who made a difference in your life? I bet if you think about it, you can recall a person who, even with one action, made your day better.  

Let me share this with you: before my son turned 2, he got really sick and was throwing up blood. I took him to the ER, and after two hours there, they informed me of something no parent wants to hear: they said, "Ms. Graff, we’re going to have to transfer your kid to another hospital because we don’t have a pediatric doctor in this hospital who can take care of him." 

Now, at that moment, my son wasn’t very responsive to my talking to him or touching him.

I got really, really scared and I threatened to leave the ER, only for the hospital staff to call security on me. Lol,  

Anyway, not only did the hospital checked me in knowing they had no doctor available to see my son, but they also misplaced his lab work and were unable to provide the transferring hospital with any updates on his status.  

See, I had every right to be acting crazy! Lol 

When we arrived at John Hopkins we had to be separated and placed in isolation. The nurses were incredibly kind and attentive to my daughter, who was only 4. My son and I were in one glass room, while my poor girl had to stay in the room next to ours, separated by just one glass door. As my little girl sat there all alone, a nurse would come in to bring her toys, sit with her, and talk to her. 

I don’t even remember her name, but she lives in my memories and holds a special place in my heart because she didn’t have to come in and play with my girl. I’m sure she had a job to do, but she went out of her way to do something I can never forget. Now, when I think of her, I feel a lot of gratitude. I thank God for always placing the right people on my path when I need them most.  

I am not ready to die. But I do think about this question often: how will I be remembered? What did I do that has made an impression on a family, a stranger, a friend, or my community. 

In my book, "Friendships," chapter nine, I write about Tabitha, a woman we read about in the book of Acts, chapter 9. She was a pillar of her community—so much so that when she got sick and died, all the people she had been serving and doing ministry for came to mourn her death. Most of these people were forgotten, outcasts, individuals whom society deemed as second-class citizens. 

Tabitha had spent her life helping the less fortunate. She helped widows, single moms, and anyone who didn’t have anyone to look after themselves. She made scarves and other clothing items for them. 

When she died, everyone came to her house and quickly began searching for her, asking if someone could perform a miracle to bring her back to life. See, I don’t think people wanted her back just because she was a great scarf maker. They wanted her back because of how she made them feel. These people felt seen and heard, and Tabitha was the one who ensured they were not counted as outcasts.  

I’ve wondered before: in the town where I live, if I died, who would want to bring me back to life? Who are the people I am serving to ensure they are seen, heard, and not left out?  

I often ask myself: Who feels like they matter because of what I do?  

Friend, today I want to challenge you to ask yourself the same question: who feels like they matter because of what you do?

As much as I want to challenge you with this question, I also want to encourage you to start with the people closest to you. 

How about your family? Do you make them feel like they matter, or do you make them feel outcasted?

How about the people you work with? What about the people you do ministry with? 

 As a parent, I have tried to find ways to make my kids feel that they matter in their own unique way. 

I have always told tell my daughter one of my most favorite quotes: you are my sun, my moom and all of my stars. And my son, I used to sing this song to him but I am always telling him you fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles that’s what you do.

 Why do I do that? Because I want each of them to feel seen and known and secure in the fact that I love them for who they are and I don’t expect one to be like the other. I want them to know that I see them differently and I love them to the end of the world for who they are. 

I try to do the same with my friends, whether by encouraging them, telling them how much they mean to me, or reminding them of their qualities and the amazing people they are.  

The truth is that at the end of the day, I don’t know if anyone will come and mourn for me when I die. I don’t know that anyone would go out of their way to see if someone can perform a miracle to bring me back to life.  

What I do know is that God made me for a purpose and I was meant to be alive in this time. I was made to use my voice to encourage others and show that it is possible to fully live into the person we were created to be after experiencing the pain and heartbreak of divorce and as we face the challenges of single parenting.

I know I was made to love people and make them feel like they matter. If that is the only thing I accomplish with five people, then I’ve done what I was created to do.  

Just because someone hurt me doesn’t mean I'm going to change who I am or not give others the best of me. I’ve experienced failed friendships and relationships, but none of those things will keep me isolated or keep me from making new friends.  

If I approach my current relationship with the fear that past events will repeat themselves, I need to reflect on myself and understand why I feel this way.  

I believe that, for the most part, some may be wondering why I am so nice to them. Why did I help them? Do I want something from them? Why do I love them? 

The truth is, I am just living into the person I was created to be. My friendship, my loyalty and my love are free. I do have boundaries and I don’t think twice about drawing lines where they need to be and separating myself from others when I need to.  

Friend, spend some time today thinking about what kind of history you want to leave behind. Be the truest you every second of every day you have left and have fun letting others see the masterpiece God created in you!